Understanding the problem from God's point of view:
l Pet. 3:1-7 ; Rom. 8:15-17 -In God's eyes men and women are joint or equal heirs, husband not above wife nor wife above husband. Husbands are to know their wives by loving and tenderly taking care of them with warmth and tenderness, as joint heirs of the grace of life. Wife is to submit herself to her own husband's authority, control and leadership. Wives stand in awe and reverence of God to help complete her husband, to provide support, encouragement, so that both husband and wife operate in order, in cooperation, in relationship and partnership, walking together, hand in hand throughout life.
Eph. 5:18-21 ; Col. 3:17 ; Jn. 14:21 -In order to fulfill one's responsibilities and functions, to counteract the inclinations of the flesh, we are commanded to be filled with the Spirit, that is, being conscious of His Presence at all times. Accordingly, being filled with the Spirit rests on the shoulders of the believer, that is, he is filled only as he walks obediently to Christ, denying his own self and interest in order to be a blessing to others.
John 7:38-39 ; Heb. 13:17 -As we obey, Jesus' Presence is illuminated, manifested and quickened in the life of the believer, within their hearts and lives. When a believer needs to fulfill his role and function, God 's Presence gives a deep sense of His love and care, helping and giving confidence, forgiveness and assurance-giving wholeness the believer needs.
Rom. 5:5 -All the love we will ever need is already residing within us, all we have to do is exercise it by an action of our will as God commands.
Matt. 18:4 , 11:28-30; 1 Pet. 5:5 -A spirit-filled person has a submissive and respectful spirit. He does not have a spirit of criticism, dissention, envy, divisiveness, or selfishness, but he goes out of his way to minister and to serve.
Eph. 5:22-24 -To submit is God's will. We submit because we love God, we do it as to Him, to please Him. Christian wives do not obey the Lord out of resentment and reaction; they focus their lives to please the Lord and their husbands, to encourage and develop a partnership and order in the family.
-Husband to love wife by a selfless and unselfish
love, a giving and sacrificial love, a love of the mind and will
as well as the heart. A love that works for the highest good of
the person loved, to nourish and to cherish. Accordingly, the
christian home is to be lived in the very presence and atmosphere
of the Lord, to be governed by the Lord, decisions are to be made
in the light of the Lord and His will, and the christian home
is not to have two partners, but three-husband, wife and Christ.